There are a number of thing for which I don't understand the appeal: Coca-Cola, Napoleon Dynamite, text messaging. The list goes on and on, but today I'd like to talk a bit about the graduation ceremony.
I'm facing graduation this month and I've gotten quite a few letters/emails/phone calls from BYU telling me that I need to order my cap and gown. Why would I want to do that?
From what I remember of graduations past, the graduation ceremony involves:
1. Wearing what Hugh Nibley so lovingly refers to as "the robes of the false priesthood"
2. Waiting in lines. At least three of them
3. Listening to some guy with better grades than mine recite Robert Frost's The Road not Taken
4. Standing around afterward while a family member forces me to have pictures taken of me wearing an ill-fitting hat that keeps its distinctive square shape via a piece of cardboard placed in it.
5. Navigating my way through a crowd of girls who are hugging each other and crying because they'll never see each other again.
As if that weren't enough incentive to do something else on that specific Saturday morning, they're expecting me to spend $150 to rent unflattering cult garb for a day.
Well, academia, I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to have to pass on that one.
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